If you've never experimented with couples' pleasure accessories and wondered whether there's any point in introducing them to your bedroom, this article is for you.
Alongside the enthusiastic responses we receive from couples who purchased accessories and touching reports about the wonders they've done for their intimate lives, many of you ask us, "Why do we need this at all? If we're good as we are, why force it?" Some of you are even alarmed, "By offering this as an option, aren't you turning the entire connection between husband and wife artificial? Won't this ruin things?" Others are hesitant to face the question but quietly wonder - "Should we try? Will it actually improve our sex life?"
This article will provide you with some information that might help you answer these questions. However, the descriptions below are based on common cases and individual experience, and might not be right for you personally. When in doubt, conferring with a professional is always recommended, or contact us for a personalized consultation.
Couples' pleasure products may be suitable for the following couples:
Couples who have been sexually active for several years and want to diversify their sex life
These couples are characterized by good sexual communication and report positive experiences in their sexuality. Long-term relationships require constant investment and nurturing of love to keep it alive and burning. Just as hiring a babysitter and going on a date breaks routine and brings you closer together, breaking bedroom routines can yield the same result. Over years of wear and tear, couple intimacy needs periodic rekindling of desire. If a couple feels that adding certain accessories to their sexual encounters will enhance their closeness and reignite excitement – then it's recommended and blessed.
Couples experiencing physiological difficulties related to their physical connection
Certain products aren't necessarily designed for direct pleasure but rather to overcome specific difficulties preventing it. For example, women post-childbirth experiencing vaginal muscle laxity, which sometimes leads to loss of sensation, can use our pleasure weights to strengthen the muscles in the area. Additionally, women who struggle to produce natural vaginal lubrication for hormonal reasons (such as during breastfeeding) can use weights to prepare the vaginal area for more comfortable connection in advance. Women experiencing painful intercourse due to over-tensing can use our internal vibrator designed for internal massage to release muscle tension points and more. Men seeking to delay ejaculation and extend connection time with their partner can use our love rings to prevent frustration for themselves and their partner. Similar solutions exist for men suffering from impotence, and so on.
Couples where the woman has difficulty reaching orgasm
In today's exhausting reality, where we work harder and longer than ever before, many women struggle to achieve satisfaction regularly. Raising children, work stress, and other challenges create difficulties for these women to reach sexual release. Repeated negative experiences of unsatisfying intercourse are one of the factors leading to decreased sexual desire in women and creating difficulties for couples, which can lead to serious crises. Therefore, accessories can also suit women who simply say, "I know I need to invest, take afternoon naps and all that, but right now I'm in a busy period and I want to choose the easier, quicker way." In my eyes, such women deserve great appreciation. They choose not to give up on their sexual pleasure and find solutions that work for them at their current life stage. But! And this is a big but - this refers to sexually aware couples (I'll elaborate later about couples who have struggled with this from the beginning of their sexual journey together).
Women experiencing sexuality issues due to menopause
Many couples don't know that internal vibrating accessories can help women suffering from menopausal symptoms like vaginal dryness, pain, over-tensing, and more. Using an accessory serves as a kind of internal massage for the vagina, accelerates blood flow to the area, and thus increases its vitality and liveliness. In such cases, using pleasure products is very healthy.
When is it not advisable to use pleasure products?
Couples who aren't interested
Those who said "why force it?" are right. Indeed, there's no need to force it if you don't feel the need. However, it's important to remember that what doesn't suit you now won't necessarily be unsuitable in the future. Couples marry intending to live together for decades. They develop together, mature, and change. What doesn't fit now might suit you in five years.
Couples where one partner isn't interested
It takes two to tango, and the same applies to pleasure products in bed. When one partner is hesitant about the idea – it's best not to try. This could distance partners rather than bring them closer. If you're unsure about your partner's reaction to the idea, I recommend not surprising them with any product. Even if the intention is very good. We mustn't forget that this is a sensitive and intimate topic, and we must give our loved ones autonomy over their own bodies and decisions. Here too, it's important to note that perceptions change, and if one partner isn't comfortable using intimate products now, their perspective might change. The exception is women who want to use products independently, as decisions about their bodies are their own.
Couples where the woman has never reached orgasm with her partner
I want to share a secret. One of the most common inquiries we receive is from men seeking recommendations for products that will help their partner reach sexual satisfaction together, as it has never happened. These inquiries are touching in my opinion, demonstrating the men's love, care, and great consideration for their partners. These inquiries are also further evidence that women's pleasure is as important to men as it is to women. However, it's important to say that in such situations, it's not recommended to use pleasure products right away. A situation where a woman has never reached satisfaction with her partner, even after years of trying, requires a completely different approach. In such cases, the most recommended course of action is a personal meeting with a sex counselor or therapist, who will try to find with the couple what's preventing the woman from reaching satisfaction. The reasons can be many and varied.
There is an exception here too - there are couples whom the counselor or therapist might recommend using pleasure products to "release" the woman's body from within, and teach her what she needs to reach in her sexuality. All this as part of a process that will allow her to experience complete sexual pleasure with her partner.
Using pleasure products as a substitute during relationship crisis
The quality of intimate relations in long-term relationships is one of the factors that can create tension between partners. Although it's known that even good people can experience difficult periods when they encounter deep pain areas in their relationship with their closest person, using manipulations like: "You can't sexually satisfy me anymore anyway, so I'll buy myself a product and you'll stay away from me" - only worsens the wound and won't lead to healing. In such situations, it's better to avoid using products and seek professional sexual counseling that can help the couple return to a healthier, more balanced place in their intimate lives.
When we carefully and thoughtfully developed the VE-AHAVTEM® pleasure products collection, we weren't trying to say that everyone should use products all the time. The goal was to create pleasant and modest accessibility for couples who find these products suitable and whose intimate lives would benefit from using them. We also wanted to shatter pornography's control over the field of intimate products, and the very wrong assumption that using them is negative; and to convey the important message that any couple wanting to invest in their intimate life from a place of love - is allowed and even encouraged to use all available means to achieve this goal, each couple according to what suits them.
The secret to maintaining a passionate life over time lies in the quality of time you choose to invest in it. How much you're willing to open your mind, heart, and body to honest and deep expression of your desires and to accommodate your partner's desires from a loving and non-judgmental place. If you're unsure whether to incorporate products or not, I invite you to sit down with your partner for an honest and open conversation. The answer lies within you. You might conclude it's right for you, or you might conclude it's not, or not right now. The most important thing is that you have the knowledge and accessibility to these things, and from there you can decide for yourselves what's best and most appropriate for you.
Remember well: Your goal isn't trying various products; your goal is a close married life full of pleasure, love, and stable, joyful passion over the years. And as long as products serve as means to achieve this goal - it is blessed.
**Limor Kleinman, the writer, is the founder of VE-AHAVTEM®. She is a certified sexual counselor from Bar-Ilan University, a bridal instructor, a lecturer, and Mikvah attendant.
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